How to write a letter of instruction — and why it matters as much as your will

What a letter of instruction is — and is not

A letter of instruction (sometimes called a personal letter or informal memorandum) is a private, informal document that sits alongside your formal estate documents. It has no legal force — it does not override your will, and it cannot transfer property — but in practice it is often the document your family will reach for first, because it speaks in plain English about things that legal documents do not address.

Think of it as the operating manual for your estate — the part where you explain what the legal documents are trying to say, and add the things they cannot.

What to include

There is no fixed format, and that is partly the point. Cover what your family will need to know and what you want them to know. The following categories are a useful framework.

• Your wishes for a service. Burial or cremation, where, music, readings, who should speak — the details that are deeply personal and that most wills deliberately leave out. This is the first thing many families look for.
• The location of your key documents. Where is the signed original of your will? Where are the trust documents, the insurance policies, the deed? Name the place specifically — a drawer, a safe, a vault, an attorney's office.
• A guide to your financial life. The institutions where you bank and invest, the account numbers, the name and contact details of your financial advisor. Not the passwords — the shape of the landscape.
• Your digital accounts. The email address associated with each important service, your password manager if you use one, and your wishes for each social media profile.
• Contact details for your professional team. Attorney, accountant, financial advisor, insurance agent.
• Anything you want to explain in your own words. Why you divided things as you did, what you would have liked for certain people, what mattered to you most. This is the part families treasure most, and it costs nothing to write.

Keep it honest and specific

The temptation is to be vague — “somewhere in the study” or “you know where” — but vagueness is exactly what the letter is there to prevent. Be as specific as you can: the name of the safe, the floor it is on, the combination or the name of who has the key. If you use Legatus Vault to store your documents, record that clearly, and name the people you have designated so they know to expect the notification.

Format and tone

Write it the way you talk. A letter of instruction does not need legal language. It will be read at a difficult moment, and plain, warm prose will carry far more than a carefully drafted clause. Date it, sign it, and note the date of your most recent will so there is no confusion about which documents are current.

Some people write one letter for practical information and a separate personal letter for the things they want to say to the people they love. Both are worth writing. They need not be long.

Keep it up to date

A letter written ten years ago that names an attorney who has retired, a phone number that no longer works, and an account at a bank you left is more confusing than helpful. Set a reminder to read through it whenever you update your will — or at least once a year. Unlike a will, you can update a letter of instruction yourself, without an attorney, as often as you like.

Where to keep it

A letter of instruction should live with your estate documents — not in a place so private that no one can find it, and not in a place so accessible that anyone can read it. A fireproof home safe, your attorney's records, and a secure digital vault are all sound choices. The most important thing is that the people who will need it can reach it: your executor, and at least one other trusted person.

The part that cannot be replaced

Legatus Vault is designed to hold exactly this kind of document alongside your formal estate papers — encrypted and secure during your life, released to the people you name when the time comes. The instructions section of the vault is built for letters, notes, and guidance that sit outside the formal will. They are often the most read, and the most missed.